Friends are so important to me. I do not have a very big social life. But the friends I do have, I cherish. Some have been made through letters, others through school and some just pop up. Regardless of how I make them, I accept them for who they are and where they come from. Unconditionally.
When I first got sick. I found out who my real friends were and which ones were just “seasonal” friends. It was shocking how many were “seasonal.” They were only friends with me to up their status in the social totem pole (I’m kinda at the bottom, ahem…). But, the ones that held on are amazing, fantastic, wonderful people which I am very proud to call my friends.
I always have the energy for a friend whether they need help, just want to talk or if they need a pair of ears (though sometimes I’m in my PJ’s and drugged pretty good). Listening is a skill I am working on. Still don’t have it perfected yet but I’m getting there. One very important thing about a friendship while having lupus is not letting the illness be the only thing that is talked about. Even though lupus comes and kicks my butt every single day. It gets old to hear about how crummy things are.
Friendships are not relationships. I have no energy to put into a relationship (dating type) but I will happily sacrifice my little energy (spoons) for a friend because my friends have sacrificed so much for me (for example: sending me therapy in an envelope, teaching me a new skill, walking in the cold, too many things to list here…). It’s not easy to be friends with someone who is always hurting and can be very grumpy. But somehow they manage it. Thank you so much :)
Most days my motivation to get up is my friends. I cannot begin to stress how important friends are. Without them, I think the whole world would stop spinning. That would be a major problem! Others with lupus and friends who know someone with lupus: there will be bad days and good ones but hang in there!
Life is far too short to not have friends. Make sure to treat them well and appreciate their gifts. Everyone is spectacular in their own little way.