Thursday, November 4, 2010

Fog...

It’s really not that easy to describe. But I’ll try my best. When I am foggy it seems like the whole world is moving far too fast, nobody is speaking English and I can’t connect the dots for the life of me. Confusion is a great understatement for how I generally feel after talking to a person while foggy. They talk too fast, I ask for them to repeat what they just said. Then they just talk faster and raise their voice. This then confuses me even more and makes me a bit scared because now they might also be offended. I just can’t think straight for the life of me when I’m in a fog!

I do dumb and illogical things when I am foggy (well… I do things that are dumb and illogical when I am also not foggy but there is a difference…) The latest being freezing my very nice writing pens and then micro waving them because the ink was frozen. I didn’t think about the fact that what I was doing was very odd. Actually, I don’t even remember putting my pens into the freezer, but that’s where I found them! I am afraid that one of these days I am going to forget to put my pants on or something like that! Honestly when I am genuinely foggy you could probably sell me ice in antarctica and I would think I was getting a screaming deal. On ice.

The fog is deep and is caused by the demon lupus. Nothing really warns me as to when I will have a foggy spell. It just happens. Now, working through pain in my opinion is easier than working through the fog. Working through fog is like trying to use a plastic spoon to dig through a concrete floor. Not very easy. Pain I can at least visualize and try to “morph” more or less into something else using imagery. The fog has no image because I can’t think clearly enough to give it an image.

Fog doesn’t hurt. I don’t get a headache with the fog. It’s just like the world is gray and fuzzy. Not a cuddly fuzzy though… Fog is a bother. Annoying, strange, looming and ominous most days. I can always hope for sunny skies both above and in my head.

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