The holiday season has to be one of the toughest times of the year for me. Now, I tend not to be the type of person who gets really depressed during this season. Instead I run into too many social engagements/activities and not enough spoons. Or just not enough spoons in general. One of the hardest things to do is to say: “I’m sorry but I really can’t attend your holiday event I said I could a week ago.” Canceling at the last minute sucks but sometimes I have to do it.
Please- Do not take it personally. I’m not canceling on you because I don’t like you or don’t want to be around you. I am canceling because I am out of spoons and really would not be any fun at the engagement even if I did come.
Please- Do not give me a hard time. I feel bad enough already having to cancel on you. It makes me feel even worse if you give me the ringer about it. I know I don’t look sick and I don’t act sick most of the time. But I really am and I really do need to stay home. No crap necessary.
Please- Understand I am dealing with something where how well I am feeling can change from one minute to the next. I may have been feeling “just fine” when you saw me in the morning but now I feel “like crap” in the afternoon. Things change quickly and sometimes I can take a nosedive in a matter of minutes.
Please- Understand if I do manage to show up for a little while and have to leave early it’s not because the social engagement sucks. I am leaving because I am crashing and need to get home. You really do not want me crashing at your social engagement… believe me!
Please- Do not ask me a million questions about things the next day. I realize I wasn’t there last night but I really don’t want to elaborate on “I’m sorry but I can’t make it (I’m not feeling well.)” What matters is I’m back in action now and I am able to function again. Not what happened last night.
The holidays can be a wonderful time. I hope to have lots of spoons to go to holiday engagements/activities but if I don’t… please understand. Sometimes I just can’t come. But have a wonderful time without me and I will be there in spirit.